I’m a writer, so I think a lot about words and language.
The words we choose to use in our spoken and written dialog with other people can impact how they react to us and whether they choose to follow us or view us as a leader or guide.
Over the past few years, I’ve noticed an increase in the use of power words as part of people’s daily vernacular. For sure, you’ll see some internet personalities and influencers using power words and phrases. But other people whom you encounter in everyday life use them, too. Some examples:
Do You Use Your Power Words?
“For me”
You visit the doctor’s office. The nurse says to you, “I need you to go ahead and get on the scale for me.” Or you’re in the shoe store and the shoe salesman says “Place your foot on the measuring stick for me.”
The part where this gets interesting and uses power language is where they say “for me.” Why is your completing of this action “for them?” When did “for me” become part of someone’s request to get another person to do something as general protocol?
Does “for me” make it personal and create a sense of obligation, making you more likely to comply with the requested act?
“You need to”
There’s something of a rebel living in me and it’s always been there. So when someone uses the phrase “you need to” in their recommendation to me, I resist that suggestion.
“You need to pick up your shoes.” “You need to rethink your attitude.” “You need to give your tax preparer a call.”
“You need to” implies so many things. First, it implies that the person you’re conversing with knows better than you. Second, it implies that this is more than just a suggestion.
“You need to” walks the line between being a recommendation and an order. When someone says “you need to” anything, in my head I automatically fire back with “I don’t NEED to do anything.” 🙂
“I want you to”
The phrase “I want you to” is used a lead-in for issuing a specific command. You’ll notice that people say this when they’re leading an activity, either virtually or at an in-person event.
Example, you’re following along with a guided meditation. The coach who’s leading says, “I want you to close your eyes.”
Instead of simply saying “Close your eyes,” they insert themselves and their own wish into the command. Again, it creates some level of obligation, in a way. You feel like because they want you to do something, you’ll do it.
Or, the opposite can happen, where if you’re like me, you’ll become distracted by this choice of power words. You might think in your head, “Hey, this isn’t about what YOU want; it’s about me! You’re here to teach ME something new!”
“We’ll do (this, that or the other thing)”
I’ve also noticed a change in how people present planned activities. Instead of saying something like, “Here’s the schedule: 10 a.m. there will be a meet-and-greet. Lunch to follow at noon. 3pm, attend our guided workshop” you might read or hear words spoken that go like this:
“We’ll meet and greet at 10a.m. Lunch will be at noon. Then we’ll follow with a guided workshop.”
The difference is in saying what is scheduled to happen, or what your choices are should you attend, versus what WILL happen.
This leaves no option or sense of having free will for the participants or attendees of said event.
Do you notice other people or influencers using power words and phrases in their communication?
What do you think about it? Do you communicate in this way? What effects do you think your words have on the people around you? Is being overly commanding in your language really the way to go? Or does it drive people away and make them resist you?
Thoughts to ponder about how to communicate in a confusing, fast paced world of many choices and options.
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